Appraisals!!!

God help those who get these 'quotes' in their appraisals, as suggested by Railkar:-

:--) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

:--) "His men would follow him anywhere, ............ .... but only out of morbid curiosity."

:--) "I would not allow this employee to breed."

:--) "This employee is really not so much of a 'has been', but more of a definite 'wont be'."

:--) "Works well under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

:--) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

:--) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

:--) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

:--) "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

:--) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

:--) "This employee should go far, ..........and the sooner he starts, the better."

:--) "Got a full 6 pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

:--) A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

:--) "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."

:--) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

:--) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

:--) "He's been working with glue too much."

:--) "He would argue with a signpost."

:--) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."

:--) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

:--) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

:--) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, ........he's the other one."

:--) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

:--) "A prime candidate for natural deselection."

:--) "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

:--) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

:--) "Has two brains: One is lost and the other is out looking for it."

:--) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

:--) "If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

:--) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."

:--) "Its hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."

:--) "One neuron short of a synapse."

:--) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled."

:--) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."

:--) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."