Willingness To Listen

Viktor Frankl, one of the great psychiatrists of the twentieth century, survived the death camps of Nazi Germany. His little book, Man’s Search for Meaning, is one of those life-changing books that everyone should read.

Frankl once told the story of a woman who called him in the middle of the night to calmly inform him she was about to commit suicide. Frankl kept her on the phone and talked her through her depression, giving her reason after reason to carry on living. Finally she promised she would not take her life, and she kept her word.

When they later met, Frankl asked which reason had persuaded her to live?
 

"None of them", she told him.
 

What then influenced her to go on living, he pressed?
 

Her answer was simple, it was Frankl’s willingness to listen to her in the middle of the night.

A world in which there was someone ready to listen to another's pain seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live.

Often, it is not the brilliant argument that makes the difference. Sometimes the small act of listening is the greatest gift we can give.

My Mother Taught Me This

Things my Mother taught me.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the restaurant with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!'

Maternal Bond

A maternal bond is the relationship between a mother and her child. While typically associated with pregnancy and childbirth, a maternal bond may also develop in cases where the child is unrelated, such as an adoption. Both physical and emotional factors influence the mother-child bonding process.

Travails of a Mother

Marc Mero (born July 9, 1960) is an American retired amateur boxer and professional wrestler, as well as a motivational speaker. He is best known for his appearances with the World Wrestling Federation under his real name and with World Championship Wrestling and Total Nonstop Action Wrestling under the ring name Johnny B. Badd. In 2007 he founded the non-profit organization Champion of Choices. Today, Marc Mero gives his time and talent to impact young lives through the nonprofit organization he founded in 2007 called Champion of Choices, this self-proclaimed “Happiest Person on the Planet” shares his powerful story of tragedy and triumph, speaking candidly about where his good and bad choices took him. His anti-bullying, substance abuse, and suicide prevention message reaches students during a dynamic stage production.

Here he has a message related to his mother.

Speak Up

Date: 02 - 07 - 1909
Divisional Railway Officer,
Sahibgunj,

Respected Sirs,
 

I am arrive by passenger train Ahmedpur station and my belly is too much swelling with jackfruit. I am therefore went to privy. Just I doing the nuisance that guard making whistle blow or train to go off and I am running with lotaah in one hand and dhoti in the next when I am fall over and expose all my shocking to man and female women on platform. I am got leaved at Ahmedpur station. This too much bad, if passenger go to make dung that dam guard not wait train five minutes for him. I am therefore pray your honour to make big fine on that guard for public sake. Otherwise I am making big report to papers.(ORIGINAL LETTER)

Your faithful Servant,
Okhil Chandra Sen

Okhil Babu wrote this letter to the Sahibganj divisional railway officer in 1909. It is on display at the Railway Museum in New Delhi. It was also reproduced under the caption Travellers Tales in the Far Eastern Economic Review.

Any guesses why this letter is of Historic Value?

It led to the introduction of TOILETS in trains in India...!!!!

So no idea is stupid and...........always speak up (howsoever bad or good you may be at any language)...

Father And Son

A father provided best of education, good moral support, money and  everything possible....to his son.....!!!

Boy becomes a top shot....

Boy gets a grand cabin in the best office of world. His father feels proud and very powerful...and visits his office...!!!

Son is sitting on his chair. Father goes to the back side, keeps his hands on the shoulders of his son.....!!!

And father asks a question: Who is the most powerful man in the world..???

(Father expects that son will say- of course you dad.)
 

Son proudly says: I am the most powerful person...

Father feels.... shattered. With wet eyes tries to walk out of the office, but at gate asks once again - oh so you feel that you are most powerful....

Son says.... innocently : No, dad you are most powerful.....

Father: but couple of minutes back you said that you are most powerful.....
 

Son: I was right then too....since, at that time your hands were on my shoulders.

The Abundance Principle

Once a man got lost in a desert. The water in his flask had run out two days ago, and he was on his last legs. He knew that if he didn't get some water soon, he would surely die. The man saw a small hut ahead of him. He thought it would be a mirage or maybe a hallucination, but having no other option, he moved toward it. As he got closer, he realized it was quite real. So he dragged his tired body to the door with the last of his strength.

The hut was not occupied and seemed like it had been abandoned for quite some time. The man entered into it, hoping against hope that he might find water inside.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw what was in the hut - a water hand pump...... It had a pipe going down through the floor, perhaps tapping a source of water deep under-ground.

He began working the hand pump, but no water came out. He kept at it and still nothing happened. Finally he gave up from exhaustion and frustration. He threw up his hands in despair. It looked as if he was going to die after all.

Then the man noticed a bottle in one corner of the hut. It was filled with water and corked up to prevent evaporation.

He uncorked the bottle and was about to gulp down the sweet life-giving water, when he noticed a piece of paper attached to it. Handwriting on the paper read : "Use this water to start the pump. Don't forget to fill the bottle when you're done."

He had a dilemma. He could follow the instruction and pour the water into the pump, or he could ignore it and just drink the water.

What to do? If he let the water go into the pump, what assurance did he have that it would work? What if the pump malfunctioned? What if the pipe had a leak? What if the underground reservoir had long dried up?

But then... maybe the instruction was correct. Should he risk it? If it turned out to be false, he would be throwing away the last water he would ever see.

Hands trembling, he poured the water into the pump. Then he closed his eyes, said a prayer, and started working the pump.

He heard a gurgling sound, and then water came gushing out, more than he could possibly use. He luxuriated in the cool and refreshing stream. He was going to live!

After drinking his fill and feeling much better, he looked around the hut. He found a pencil and a map of the region. The map showed that he was still far away from civilization, but at least now he knew where he was and which direction to go.

He filled his flask for the journey ahead. He also filled the bottle and put the cork back in. Before leaving the hut, he added his own writing below the instruction: "Believe me, it works!"

This story is all about life. It teaches us that We must GIVE  before We can RECEIVE Abundantly. More importantly, it also teaches that FAITH  plays an important role in GIVING. The man did not know if his action would be rewarded, but he proceeded regardless. Without knowing what to expect, he made a Leap of Faith.

Water in this story represents the Good things in Life - something that brings a smile to your face. It can be  Intangible Knowledge or it can represent Money, Love, Family, Friendship, Happiness, Respect, or any number of other things you Value - Whatever it is that you would like to get out of life - that's water.

The water pump represents the Workings of the Karmic Mechanism.
Give it some "Water" to Work with, and it will RETURN far more than you put in.........!!!

My Mother Taught Me.......

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
'Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the restaurant with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!'

Definition Of Success

In Born to Win! Find Your Success Code, his last book before his passing, iconic motivational speaker and author Zig Ziglar shares his winning philosophy—that you have to plan and prepare to win, to succeed—and the strategies to go with it.

In this excerpt, he shares a short list of the characteristics that he believes comprise success:

What Success Is:

1. Success is knowing that you did a great job when you close the door to your office at the end of each workday and head for home.

2. Success is having a home and people to love who love you in return.

3. Success is having the financial security to meet your obligations each month and the knowledge that you have provided that security for your family in the event of your demise.

4. Success is having the kind of faith that lets you know where to turn when there seems to be no place to turn.

5. Success is having an interest or hobby that gives you joy and peace.

6. Success is knowing who you are, and Whose you are.

7. Success is taking good care of you and waking up healthy each day.

8. Success is slipping under the covers at the end of the day and realizing with gratitude that, “It just doesn’t get much better than this!”

You see from this list that success is defined by more than one sentence. Success involves the whole person, and if you skimp on one area, you will limit your success. Now, let’s take a look at what success isn’t:

What Success Isn’t:

1. Success isn’t missing dinner with the family several times a week because of working excessively.

2. Success isn’t rushing home from work and hiding out with the TV thinking, “After the day I’ve had, I need my space!”

3. Success isn’t about how to make more money when you already have more money than you can spend.

4. Success isn’t about going to church and ignoring everything you hear.

5. Success isn’t all work and no play.

6. Success isn’t about being so busy that you live on unhealthy fast food, served to you through little windows.

7. Success isn’t spending mental energy worrying about late projects, being home on time, your health, missing your child’s school play, being able to pay your bills, or finding joy in your life.

8. Success isn’t texting while you drive to catch up on your overloaded schedule.

How A Password Changed My Life

This is called  Repetitive reinforcement............

(A true life story - source from The Readers’ Digest)

I was having a great morning until I sat down in front of my office computer. “Your password has expired,” a server message flashed on my screen, with instructions for changing it. Coming up with a new code doesn’t seem like a big deal, unless you work at my company, where we have to change it monthly, using at least one uppercase character, one lowercase character, one symbol, and one numeral. Oh, and the whole darn thing can’t be fewer than eight characters. And I can’t use any of the same passwords I’ve used in the past three months.

Suddenly I was furious. What didn’t make it any better was that I was deeply depressed after my recent divorce. Disbelief over what she had done to me was all I thought about. Every day.

That didn’t mean anything to the empty input field with a pulsating cursor, waiting for me to type a password that I’d have to reenter—many times—for the next 30 days. I remembered a tip I’d heard from my former boss. He’d said, “I’m going to use a password to change my life.”

I couldn’t focus on getting things done in my current mood. There were clear indicators of what I needed to do to regain control of my life, but I couldn’t heed them.

My password became the indicator. My password reminded me that I shouldn’t let myself be a victim of my recent breakup and that I was strong enough to do something about it.

I made my password Forgive@h3r.

I had to type this statement several times a day. Each time my computer would lock. Each time my screen saver with her photo would appear. Each time I would come back from eating lunch alone. In my mind, I wrote Forgive her every day.

The simple action changed the way I looked at my ex-wife. That constant reminder of reconciliation led me to accept tbhhe way things had happened at the end of my marriage and embrace a new way of dealing with my depression. As the month wore on, I felt a slow healing begin to take place. By the time my server prompted me to reset my password the following month, I felt free.

One month later, my dear Exchange server asked me yet again to reset my password. I thought about the next thing that I had to get done.

My password became Quit@smoking4ever.

I quit smoking overnight.

This password was a painful one to type during that month, but doing it helped me to yell at myself in my mind as I typed that statement. It motivated me to follow my monthly goal.

One month later, my password became Save4trip@thailand.

Guess where I went three months later: Thailand.

Seeing how these reminders helped to materialize my goals kept me motivated and excited. While it’s sometimes difficult to come up with your next goal, keeping at it brings great results.

Here is a simplified extract of what some of my passwords have been in the past two years, so you get an idea of how my life has changed, thanks to this method:

Forgive@h3r To my ex-wife, who left me.

Quit@smoking4ever It worked.

Save4trip@thailand It worked.

Eat2times@day It never worked, still fat..

Facetime2mom@sunday It worked. I talk with Mom every week.

And the one for last month:

Save4@ring Yep. Life is gonna change again soon

The Mongolian Peasant Principle

I wonder if you’ve heard of the Mongolian peasant principle? It was developed during the time when Joseph Stalin ruled Russia. Mr Stalin was not a very nice person – he made a habit of sending his opponents off to prison. But before packing them off to the gulag he made them confess to crimes they’d never committed.

It’s rumoured that Stalin had a psychologist working for him who could get a person to confess to just about any crime, regardless of whether they’d actually committed it or not. The psychologist said that the secret of his success was the Mongolian peasant principle.

It works like this. Imagine a poor, shabby and “unimportant” man is brought into a large office that obviously belongs to an important person. Everything in the office smacks of authority: the dark mahogany walls; the huge oak desk; the high leather chair; the grey-haired general with rows of medals on his chest sitting there proudly and powerfully.

The general speaks to the shabby, uncomfortable visitor. “I have a million roubles in my desk drawer. Here, take a look, they’re all yours.”

“All mine?” says the shabby, uncomfortable visitor

“Yes, all yours, on one condition.”

“What condition?”

“You must press this small red button on my desk” says the general.

“What happens when I press the button?”

“An old man in Mongolia drops dead.”

“He dies?!”

“Yes. He dies at once, without any pain.”

“But why, what did he do?”

“That’s none of your business. Trust me. It is good for the people. All you need to know is that the moment you press the button, the peasant dies. And you get a million roubles”

The poor, shabby, unimportant, uncomfortable man sits silent for a long moment. Then he slowly reaches forward and pushes the red button. He takes the money and goes home. But for the rest of his life he’s haunted by the memory of what he did. He can’t bring himself to spend a cent his ill gotten gain. He’s tormented day and night, until finally, 5 years later, he commits suicide. The million roubles are found stuffed in a sack under his bed; the State takes them back on the day of his funeral.

“You see” Stalin’s psychologist says, “everybody has a Mongolian peasant in his life. Everyone has done something for which they feel deep shame. I hunt around in their memory until I find it. Then once I’ve found the peasant I dangle him in front of their eyes until the person is writhing in shame for being such a wretched human being. He will confess to anything to atone for his shame.”
 

(Source: reported in Lewis Smedes, Shame and Grace)

Titanic And The Three Ships

There were three ships which were nearby when the Titanic sunk.
 

One of them was known as the Sampson. It was 7 miles away from the Titanic and they saw the white flares signaling danger, but because the crew had been hunting seals illegally and didn't want to be caught, they turned and went the opposite direction away from the Titanic. This ship represents us and people like us if we are so busy looking inward at our own sin and lives that we can't recognize when someone else is in need.

The next ship was the Californian. This ship was only 14 miles away from the Titanic, but they were surrounded by ice fields and the captain looked out and saw the white flares, but because the conditions weren't favorable and it was dark, he decided to go back to bed and wait until morning. The crew tried to convince themselves that nothing was happening. This ship represents those of us who say I can't do anything now. The conditions aren't right for it and so we wait until conditions are perfect before going out.

The last ship was the Carpathia. This ship was actually headed in a southern direction 58 miles away from the Titanic when they heard the distress cries over the radio. The captain of this ship knelt down, prayed to God for direction and then turned the ship around and went full steam ahead through the ice fields. This was the ship that saved the 705 survivors of the Titanic.

When the captain looked back at the ice fields they had come through, he said Someone else hands must have been at the helm of this ship! This ship represents those who would pray to God for direction and then go without hesitation.

Life whispers in your soul and speaks to your heart. We need to take time to listen to these whispers and take heed.

 

Let us LEND OUR HANDS always, to those in need

Concept of God

(This lovely parable is from "Your Sacred Self" by Dr. Wayne Dyer.)

In a mother’s womb were two babies. One asked the other: “Do you believe in life after delivery?" The other replied, “Why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later.”

“Nonsense” said the first. “There is no life after delivery. What kind of life would that be?”

The second said, “I don’t know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths. Maybe we will have other senses that we can’t understand now.”

The first replied, “That is absurd. Walking is impossible. And eating with our mouths? Ridiculous! The umbilical cord supplies nutrition and everything we need. But the umbilical cord is so short. Life after delivery is to be logically excluded.”

The second insisted, “Well I think there is something and maybe it’s different than it is here. Maybe we won’t need this physical cord anymore.”

The first replied, “Nonsense. And moreover if there is life, then why has no one ever come back from there? Delivery is the end of life, and in the after-delivery there is nothing but darkness and silence and oblivion. It takes us nowhere.”

“Well, I don’t know,” said the second, “but certainly we will meet Mother and she will take care of us.”

The first replied “Mother? You actually believe in Mother? That’s laughable. If Mother exists then where is She now?”

The second said, “She is all around us. We are surrounded by her. We are of Her. It is in Her that we live. Without Her this world would not and could not exist.”

Said the first: “Well I don’t see Her, so it is only logical that She doesn’t exist.”

To which the second replied, “Sometimes, when you’re in silence and you focus and  listen, you can perceive Her presence, and you can hear Her loving voice, calling down from above.”

May be this was one of the best explanations to the  concept of 'GOD'.

Faith And Worries

A very poor woman with a small family called-in to a radio station asking for help from God.

A non-believer man who was also listening to this radio program decided to make fun of the woman.

He got her address, called his secretary and ordered her to buy a large amount of foodstuffs and take to the woman.

However, he sent it with the following instruction, "When the woman asks who sent the food, tell her that its from the devil.''

When the secretary arrived at the woman's house, the woman was so happy and grateful for the help that had been received. She started putting the food inside her small house.

The Secretary then asked her, ''Don't you want to know who sent the food?''

The woman replied, ''No, Say thanks to whomever sent this! I don't care who the person is because when GOD orders, even the devil obeys!" 

WORRIES END Where FAITH BEGINS.

When And Why To Be Silent

1. Be silent in the heat of anger.

2. Be silent when you do not have all the facts.

3. Be silent if your words will offend a weaker person.

4.Be silent when it is time to listen.

5. Be silent if you would be ashamed of your words later.

6. Be silent if your words would convey the wrong impression.

7. Be silent when you are tempted to tell an outright lie.

8. Be silent if your words will damage someone else's reputation.

9. Be silent if your words will damage a friendship/ relationship.

10. Be silent when you are feeling critical.

11. Be silent if you can't say it without screaming it.

12. Be silent if your words will be a poor reflection of the Lord or your friends and family.

13. Be silent if you may have to eat your words later.

14. Be silent if you have already said it MORE than ONE TIME.

The Art of Spin

Judy Rudd, an amateur genealogy researcher in south east Queensland , was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that ex-Prime Minister Kevin Rudd's great-great uncle, Remus Rudd, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Melbourne in 1889.

Both Judy and Kevin Rudd share this common ancestor.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows at the Melbourne Jail.  

On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription:

'Remus Rudd horse thief, sent to Melbourne Jail 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Melbourne-Geelong train six times.

Caught by Victoria Police Force, convicted and hanged in 1889.'

So Judy recently e-mailed ex-Prime Minister Rudd for information about their great-great uncle, Remus Rudd.

Believe it or not, Kevin Rudd's staff sent back the following for her genealogy research:

"Remus Rudd was famous in Victoria during the mid to late 1800s.

His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Melbourne-Geelong Railroad.

Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad.

In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the Victoria Police Force.

In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honour when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

That's the art of Spin!

Comparison Versus Contentment

A guy met one of his school mates several years after school and he could not believe his eyes; his friend was driving one of the latest sleek Mercedes Benz cars. He went home feeling awful and very disappointed in himself. He thought he was a failure. What he didn't know was that his friend was a driver and had been sent to run errands with his boss's car.
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Rosemary nagged  her husband always for not being romantic. She accused him for not getting down to open the car door for her as her friend Jane's husband did when he dropped her off at work. What Rosemary didn't know that Jane's husband car had a faulty door that could only be opened from the outside.
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Sampson's wife went to visit one of her long time friends and was very troubled within for seeing the 3 lovely kids of her friend playing around. Her problem was that she had only one child and have been struggling to conceive for the past five years. What she didn't know was that one of those kids who was the biological child of her friend had sickle cell and had just a year to live; the other two are adopted.
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Life does not have a universal measuring tool so create yours and use it.  Looking at people and comparing yourself with them will not make you better. If you knew the sort of load the chameleon carried, you would'nt ask why it takes those gentle strides. Enjoy what you have.

The Invisible Truth

A guy met one of his school mates several years after school and he could not believe his eyes; his friend was driving one of the latest sleek Mercedes Benz cars. He went home feeling awful and very disappointed in himself. He thought he was a failure. What he didn't know was that his friend was a driver and had been sent to run errands with his boss' car.

Rosemary nagged  her husband always for not being romantic. She accused him for not getting down to open the car door for her as her friend Jane's husband did when he dropped her off at work. What Rosemary didn't know that Jane's husband car had a faulty door that could only be opened from the outside.

Sampson's wife went to visit one of her long time friends and was very troubled within for seeing the three lovely kids of her friend playing around. Her problem was that she had only one child and have been struggling to conceive for the past five years. What she didn't know was that one of those kids who was the biological child of her friend had sickle cell and had just a year to live; the other two are adopted.

Life does not have a universal measuring tool so create yours and use it.  Looking at people and comparing yourself with them will not make you better. If you knew the sort of load the chameleon carried, you wouldn't ask why it takes those gentle strides. Enjoy what you have.

Tappers And Listeners

In 1990, a psychology student at Stanford University, conducted an interesting experiment.  It was referred to as the "Tappers & Listeners" experiment.  The rest of the world first heard of it when the authors Chip and Dan Heath started talking about in public.

For her PhD dissertation, Elizabeth Newton invited her peers in college to participate in the study.  Each student was assigned one of two roles: 'Tapper' or 'Listener'.  The tappers were given a list of twenty-five popular tunes, such as "Happy Birthday to you" and "Jingle Bells".  They had to tap out the tune with their fingers on a table, and the listeners had to guess the song.  As you might have guessed, this was not an easy task at all.  Of the hundred and twenty times a tune was tapped, the listener could guess the tune correctly only thrice.  That's a success rate of about 2.5%. 

But here's the interesting bit.  Before the tappers began to tap the tune, Elizabeth asked them to predict the probability of the listeners being able to guess the song correctly.  The tappers predicted a 50% chance that they would be able to get the listeners to guess the tune correctly. 

So while they thought that they would be able to get the listeners to guess correctly one out of two times, the reality was that listeners could guess the tune only once in forty attempts.  How come?

Well, here's what was happening.  As the tapper taps the tune, he can hear the song playing in his head  His fingers seem to be tapping the tune in perfect sync with what's playing in his head.  And he just can't understand what the listener is not able to pick up such a simple tune!

And what about the listener?  Well, she doesn't have the tune playing in her head, without which, she has no idea what's happening.  She tries as hard as can to make sense of the bizarre Morse-code like tapping that she hears.  Alas, to no avail.  This results in utter frustration. 

As leaders, we often fall into the tapper's trap!  We give instructions which seem very clear in our heads but our colleagues may have no idea what we want them to do.  Has it happened to you that you called a young trainee to do some work, and when she got back the next day - having slogged all night to finish the task - you were disappointed?  She hadn't quiet done what you were looking for.  You probably felt a bit frustrated too, that she 'didn't quiet get it.'

The next time that happens, do remember that the problem is with the tapper - not the listener.  Because you knew what you wanted to get done, you assumed it was clear to the young trainee too.  That is seldom the case. 

The next time you are communicating with a colleague, think about the "Tappers & Listeners" experiment.  And remember, what's obvious to you may not be so to the other person.  When the listener says he doesn't get it, that's not a signal to get irritated.  It's probably telling you to put yourself in the other person's shoes, and try and be more explicit.  Don't assume that knowledge levels are the same. 

One more thing. Tapping harder or Tapping repeatedly won't make it any easier for the Listener!

(You will enjoy this related video here)

The Burning House

 

A man who has gone out of his town comes back and finds that his house is on fire.

It was one of the most beautiful houses in the town, and the man loved the house the most! Many people were ready to give double price for the house, but he had never agreed for any price and now it is just burning before his eyes.

And thousands of people have gathered, but nothing can be done, the fire has spread so far that even if you try to put it out, nothing will be saved. So he becomes very sad.

His son comes running and whispers something in his ear:

"Don't be worried. I sold it yesterday and at a very good price, three times. The offer was so good I could not wait for you. Forgive me."

Father said, "Thank God, it's not ours now!"  Then the father is relaxed and became a silent watcher, just like 1000s of other watchers.

Please think about it! Just a moment before he was not a watcher, he was attached. It is the same house....the same fire.... everything is the same...but now he is not concerned. In fact he started enjoying it just as everybody else in the crowd.

Then the second son comes running, and he says to the father, "What are you doing? You are smiling, and the house is on fire?" The father said, "Don't you know, your brother has sold it."

 
He replied, "We have taken only advance amount, not settled fully. I doubt now that the man is going to purchase it now."

Again, everything changes!!

Tears which had disappeared, have come back to the father's eyes, his smile is no more there, his heart is beating fast. The 'watcher' is gone. He is again attached.

And then the third son comes, and he says, "That man is a man of his word. I have just come from him. He said, "It doesn't matter whether the house is burnt or not, it is mine. And I am going to pay the price that I have settled for. Neither you knew, nor I knew that the house would catch on fire."

Again the joy is back and family became 'watchers'! The attachment is no more there.

Actually nothing is changing!
 

Just the feeling that 'I am the owner' and 'I am not the owner of the house' makes the whole difference.

This simple methodology of watching the mind, that you have nothing to do with it..Everything starts with a Thought !

Most of the thoughts are not yours but from your parents, your teachers, your friends, the books, the movies, the television, the newspapers. Just count how many thoughts are your own, and you will be surprised that not a single thought is your own. All are from other sources, all are borrowed ― either dumped by others on you, or foolishly dumped by yourself upon yourself, but nothing is yours.

Sow a thought, you reap an action.
Sow an act, you reap a habit.
Sow a habit, you reap a character.
Sow a character, you reap a destiny..!

Gift

This is a Singapore Drama short film.......and, it subtly but aptly conveys the message.

Banking On Check

Below is an actual letter sent to a bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

************

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, prerecorded faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will, therefore and hereafter, no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. Press buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH

1.- To make an appointment to see me.

2.- To query a missing payment.

3.- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

4.- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

5. -To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

6.- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

7.- To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated at a later date to the Authorized Contact.

8. – To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.

9. – To make a general complaint or inquiry.

The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

10.- This is a second reminder to press * for English

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever-so-slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

And remember:

Don’t make old people mad.

We don’t like being old in the first place, so doesn’t take much to p**s us off.

Cheers

Gramatically Speaking

A consonant walks into a bar and sits down next to a vowelly girl. "Hi!" he says. "I'll alphabet that you've never been here before."

"Of cursive I have," she replies. "I come here, like, all the time. For me, it's parse for the course."

The consonant remains stationery, enveloped by the vowelly girl's letter-perfect charm.

"Here's a cute joke" he states declaratively. "Up at the North Pole, St. Nicholas is the main Claus. His wife is a relative Claus. His children are dependent Clauses. Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Claus. And Santa's elves are subordinate Clauses. As a group, they're all renoun Clauses."

Then he lays on some more dashes of humor: "Have you heard about the fellow who had half his digestive tract removed? He walked around with a semi-colon."

"Are you like prepositioning me?" asks the vowelly girl.

"I won't be indirect. You are the object of my preposition. Your beauty phrase my nerves. Won't you come up to my place for a coordinating conjunction?"

"I don't want to be diacritical of you, but you're like, such a boldfaced character!" replies the vowelly girl. "Like do I have to spell it out to you, or are you just plain comma-tose? You're not my type, so get off my case!"

Despite his past perfect, he is, at present, tense.

"Puhleeze, gag me with a spoonerism!" she objects. "As my Grammar and other correlatives used to say, your mind is in the guttural. I resent your umlautish behavior. You should know what the wages of syntax are. I nominative absolutely decline to conjugate with you fer sure!"

"You get high quotation marks for that one," he smiles, "even if I think you're being rather subjunctive and moody about all this. I so admire your figure of speech that I would like to predicate my life on yours." So he gets himself into an indicative mood and says, "It would be appreciated by me if you would be married to me."

"Are you being passive aggressive?" she asks interrogatively.

"No, I'm speaking in the active voice. Please don't have a vowel movement about this. I simile want to say to you, 'Metaphors be with you!' I would never want to change you and become a misplaced modifier. It's imperative that you understand that I'm very, very font of you and want us to spend infinitive together."

"That's quite a compliment," she blushes, and gives him appositive response.

At the ceremonies they exchange wedding vowels about the compound subject of marriage.

Finally, they say, "I do," which is actually the longest and most complex of sentences, a run-on sentence, actually one that we all hope won't turn out to be a sentence fragment.

Then the minister diagrams that sentence and says, "I now pronouns you consonant and vowel."

They kiss each other on the ellipsis and whisper to each other, "I love you, noun forever."

Throughout their marriage, their structure is perfectly parallel and their verbs never disagree with their subjects.

After many a linking verve, comma splice and interjection, they conceive the perfect parent thesis. Then come some missing periods and powerful contractions, and into the world is born their beautiful little boy. They know it is a boy because of its dangling participle.

The Four Goats

It all started one lazy Sunday afternoon in my school once.  Two school-going friends had a crazy idea.  They rounded up three goats from the neighborhood and painted the number 1, 2 and 4 on their sides. That night they let the goats loose inside their school building.

The next morning, when the authorities entered the school, they could smell something was wrong. They soon saw goat droppings on the stairs and near the entrance and realized that some goats had entered the building. A search was immediately launched and very soon, the three goats were found. But the authorities were worried, where was goat No. 3?  They spent the rest of the day looking for goat No.3. There was panic and frustration. The school declared a holiday for the students. The teachers, helpers and the canteen boy were all busy looking for the goat No. 3, which, of course, was never found.   Simply because it did not exist.

We are all like those folks in the school - we may have our own goats, but are obviously looking for the elusive, missing, non-existent goat No.3.  So instead of making the most of what we have and focusing on our strengths, we worry about the missing piece - our shortcomings. Our mind is so programmed to see the things to completion, a continuity and a carry forwardness. If this is denied then the program gets messed up. An absence of something is always larger than presence of something.  Let us do the best we can with what we have and be grateful for what we get. Success and happiness will come our way.  And.....Stop worrying about goat No. 3!